$$$ Rapture Cash!! $$$

just_waiting
Originally uploaded by travelinjay.

Folks, there is now plenty of evidence to suggest that the end of the world is near. First, we saw God take out his anger on the boob-flashers in New Orleans, then he killed a bunch of pretty swans with the bird flu, and most recently he sent one of his most powerful henchmen to start shooting the elderly in the face.

Well, I have some good news and some bad news.

The bad news is that when the rapture comes and all you good people are up in heaven listening to harp music and sipping champagne, I'll still be down here paying off my student loans. It seems that once you make a certain amount of blasphemous comments, you are denied entry into the wonderful country club in the sky, and I passed that threshold years ago. Besides, they won't let me in with these sandals on.

Ah, but there is good news! It turns out, due to a loophole in the rapture clause of the bible, although good people will be taken up to heaven, their pets must stay behind (something about dander allergies and poor air circulation up there). Anyway, with their owners gone, those pets need someone to take care of them, and that's where JesusPets.com enters the picture! They have created a program that matches up good christian pet owners with atheists like me who can take care of those pets when their owners fly away to heaven! FOR COLD HARD CASH!!!

I can't believe I didn't think of this! It's easy money! My student loans will be paid off in no time!

My original plan was to just run around looting, but I was never quite comfortable with that. Even godless heathens have some scruples. This pet thing is ethical AND lucrative!

Now I can't wait for the rapture!

Superbowl Weekend

windsor_detroit superbowl
Originally uploaded by travelinjay.

We survived Superbowl weekend in Detroit. Rumors of celebrity visits enticed us downtown in search of Ben Affleck, the Stones or, yes, we were told ... Dom DeLouise was in Windsor! The only credible story I heard all weekend came from a friend whose father spotted Hulk Hogan in a local restaurant. Amazing! So maybe Windsor didn't take in a lot of celebrity money, but it sure got us off our asses and out spending our own money. The downtown area was busier than I've ever seen it, and I donated $100 to my least favourite charity: Casino Windsor. Wheeeee!!!

South Beach Diet Summary

I'm done with South Beach now.

Week 2 went like this: Diet, diet, diet, cheat, cheat, diet, get a sore throat, ... lost a few more pounds.

Week 3 went like this: Cough, cough, cough, screw this stupid diet, fruit, fruit, pizza, ... weight stayed the same.

So I started around 196 lbs and got down to about 185 in two weeks. I'm holding steady while battling this sore throat, and I'm blaming Kristen for most of the bad things I eat.

In the end I think the South Beach diet is okay. It certainly works to help you lose a few pounds very quickly, but I don't think it's very healthy to cut so many carbs out of your diet. You end up with a high-fat, high-protein diet which isn't very healthy.

My two main recommendations for anyone who wants to try South Beach are:

1. Take some vitamin pills because you can't eat fruit (though we ate lots of veggies).

2. Make sure you are getting enough sleep.

I think my sore thoat came from a combination of sleep deprivation (I did the diet during the first couple of weeks back to school after x-mas, which is a bad sleeping time for me) and not eating any fruit for 2 weeks.

Oh, and don't get your blood tested during the South Beach diet. My cholesterol reading came back very high. Now that's partly genetic in my case, but I'm sure it has a lot to do with the high-fat, high protein diet. WAY too much cheese, eggs, and meat in that diet.

Co-incidentally, while visiting my parents this weekend, I came across an Andrew Weil book that I gave them a few years ago (Eating Well for Optimal Health). I forgot how much I loved that book. Every page I read yesterday had something interesting.

I was amazed at how similar Weil's 'philosophy of food' was to my own implicit ideas, ... until I realized that most of my ideas about nutrition came directly from this book a few years ago :) Oh yeah.

I also picked up Doug Hofstadter's 'Godel, Escher, Bach' again, so I may have something abstract and confusing to post here soon. I think GEB is an important book to look at from time to time, even if you (like me) only understand it on certain levels. That may actually be the point of the book. I'm not sure.